Tag: mindset

knowledge, Mental- Health, Self-Help, self-improvement, Success, Wellness

Is Optimism Contagious?

dianangelika0607

15/08/21

One of my premises is being surrounded by positive people who look on the bright side of things and think that the glass is half full. I believe optimism is something contagious and if you feel the good vibes from the other person, you can face your life in the same way.

On the contrary, if you perceive negativity from the environment, I’m sure that you feel burned out and unenthusiastic, it’s like the other person will steal your motivation.

As I mentioned in another post, not everything is a bed of roses and excessive optimism isn’t healthy either, but it’s important to get into something and be full of the joys of spring. Life is very short and if you see everything desolate and in a bad way, rest assured that the things you want will be difficult for you to fulfill. Why do we need to go across the longer and tough way? That’s right, if you feel on the ropes and that you’re throwing in the towel at any time in your life, that’s ok because people have ups and downs; however, staying in that state for a long time or indefinitely, that’s the problem, we can give a shot to the opportunities, perhaps they can be a big break for us. The most important thing is not to miss them out since we can regret it.

Life is a permanent learning and it’s like a gear where everything that you do generates impact in others. It’s like the Butterfly Effect which idea is that small things can have non-linear impacts on a complex system, in other words and taking this quote from Fitchte, The Vocation of Man (1800) “You could not remove a single grain of sand from its place without thereby … changing something throughout all parts of the immeasurable whole.” Then our behavior impacts others and vice versa, we are in continuous transformation where we have the chance to decide which is the better way to move ahead and what kind of people is adequate for us.

DARR.

Community, knowledge, Mental- Health, Personal Development, Self-Help, self-improvement, Success, Wellness

How To Overcome Negative Answers?

dianangelika0607

27/06/21

Have you found situations where the response that you get is “no”? How many times you’ve had face circumstances where things don’t go on your way? Or you have to change your mind and find a plan B.

People are in a constant search of goals and self-realization as it is posed in Abraham Maslow Hierarchy of Needs Theory: “In his quest to understand human motivation and the pursuit of happiness, he formulated a list of basic human needs that had to be fulfilled for maximum psychological health. Through his interviews and studies, he came to categorize a hierarchical list of needs that need to be fulfilled for increasing life satisfaction” (https://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/history-of-happiness/abraham-maslow). Those needs are Physiological needs, Safety needs, Love and Belonging, Esteem, and Self-actualization.

Thus, people in their different states are searching to fulfill their aims, nevertheless, they don’t always achieve them easily. They need to deal with those challenges, frustrations, and negative answers that make their lives more complex and tough. For example, getting a job, walking into the University, traveling to a different country, or finding the love of our lives, they’re different circumstances that we don’t always get on the first attempt.

When we find these situations, people can take them as a challenge in their lives and search for different strategies or resources to cope with them; however, other people prefer to give up their objectives, and desisting due to they could be perceiving that this is the best and an easy way to face them.

Tolerance to frustration is a great ally in these cases and reinvention capacity too. Many times, we’re waiting for that important answer from the job that we want, the acceptance to study at a university, or other situations where the response isn’t that we wanted and all of our projects and perspectives fall like a house of cards because we couldn’t accomplish that goal as we wanted to do. However, this doesn’t mean that everything is lost, you just have to wait or do a different maneuver to get to your goal.   

Another point is “resilience” which “can be defined as reduced vulnerability to environmental risk experiences, the overcoming of stress or adversity, or a relatively good outcome despite the risk experiences” (Michael Rutter), In other words, when one door closes, another opens or every cloud has a silver lining. Many sayings have a relation with these situations and can give us motivation in those cases, then our role is to know how to play this game where we can go back and forth or face an intricate set of obstacles which we can find on our way but finally, they could become in opportunities in the future.

Perseverance, optimism, and constancy are elements that we can use in these situations and another important point is being surrounded by people who contribute to you, positive people who can give you a hand in those difficult times. Sadly, some people rejoice at our failures and when we have these types of people in our environment, the best thing is to get away from them. Toxic relationships aren’t healthy.

Not everything is lost, maybe we have to take more steps or walking across the long way but it doesn’t mean that we have a flop, contrary to this we’ve gained many lessons and we can learn from this the path that we decide to cross. Every day we can find new experiences, many times it’s good to think out of the box and take risks and never give up our purposes in the first attempt, we will always find solutions to hurdle those difficulties.

I know we can feel frustration, disappointment and rage since things aren’t always easy and we can’t avoid struggling with them, but the most important thing is to overcome those negative answers and belief in ourselves and our capacities to achieve our goals because after a storm comes a calm.

DARR.

Mental- Health, Personal Development, Self-Help, self-improvement, Success, Wellness

The Darkest Hour Is Just Before The Dawn

dianangelika0607

15/02/21

Today I’m going to start my writing with a quote that caught my attention: At all times in life, you either affect people with your greatness or you will infect them with your mediocrity. (Li Chun Young).

Certainly, not all days are equal and things don’t go our way, we can have goals that can be late more than we expect and it can bring frustration and bad thoughts. However, I fully trust that our mindset and the way that we face every day have to do with our results. There are many external factors which we can’t control, but on the other hand we have the power to drive our thoughts and actions. For example, when we start a new week and it’s Monday, we can have the perception that starting a new week with the same routine after a long weekend is boring and demotivating, but the other side of the coin can show us it’s a new begin with other opportunities and possibilities to learn, create or do something new.

My mom used to tell me that the words have power and I completely agree. If you go outside to the office, school or wherever you need to go and each step that you do it’s a complaint and the words that you use are with a negative vibe surely, you’ll perceive the world in the same way. At the same time that attitude can generate a bad atmosphere with the people who are close to you and the worst is it affects your own results.

From my experience, I’ve had difficult times where the only thoughts were negatives and it had driven me to have low confidence in myself and the accomplishments that I wanted. The only way to keep going is changing the chip of my mind and try to think in all the best of myself and the resources and skills that I have. However, all extremes are bad because I remember a chapter of the Tv Series Friends where there is a character with excessive optimism and enthusiasm. That situation turns uncomfortable for him and the people who are around him because his positivism is so extreme. I’m sharing the link with part of this episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_INzlg-fQlI

Regarding that Friends chapter and other similar situations, I always say that we need a balance in our life. I know not everything is a bed of roses, we have trials and tribulations and there are people who have more challenges than others but I’m completely convinced in the mind’s power and the way to try the good things of life and not to be a sad sack every moment.

I just listened to Podcast number 38 of the course that I’m doing: Real Life English and I felt really identified with that pool of knowledge about this topic and Ethan said something that I liked: “If you’re learning a language, you can have a really negative attitude like I’m never going to get fluent, or I’m just making mistakes all the time or you know my English really sucks. Or you can be really positive you can say ‘Hey I’m going to keep making a bunch of mistakes, but I’m correcting them, I’m getting better.” That is the case when learning a language but everything in life is the same, you can have ups and downs and you’re the only person that has the answer to overcome those situations and also, you can infect other people with your good vibe and greatness and encourage them too. In my case, I try to motivate people sharing my experiences and writing these posts as a way of mutual learning.

So, I hope this new post would be a support for you and let me know your comments and experiences about it. Have a fantastic day!

DARR

knowledge, Mental- Health, Personal Development, Self-Help, self-improvement, Success, Wellness

No Time, No Money

dianangelika0607

24/01/21

When people want to reach a goal or they have the expectations to do something important many times I’ve heard that the main pretext to achieve something is the lack of time or money. Actually, from my experience I’ve had to wait or postpone something for those two reasons and I know, not always it’s the precise time to do something that we want.

However, those words: time and money, can be a barrier and a mental pretext that humans create because in many occasions to leave the comfort zone is a risk that many of us want to avoid. We want to be comfortable with a known environment, the stimuli and resources and doing a step forward is a challenge because we don’t know if to take that risk will be the best decision but, in my country, we say: “El que no arriesga un huevo no gana un pollo” or in other words “Nothing ventured, nothing gained”. In many situations to face the unknown can have awards in the future.

Regarding the absence of time, it is very important to organize it and at the same time to have strategies to optimize and take advantage of every moment. Procrastination is a bad habit as the laziness or invention of excuses. Sometimes it is because we don’t know the tools to organize our schedule but there are many options which can help you to be productive and the use of them depends on if you’re a conventional or practical person. Some of those can be: Google calendar, agendas, alarms, time planners or reminders. Here is an interesting article about this topic and I think it’s very useful as a complement of this important theme: https://www.spica.com/blog/best-time-management-tools

About the money, this is an important point and more now that we’re in a time of pandemic many companies went bankrupt or they are dealing with the economy and many people have had to change their jobs, many of them were laid off and therefore the financial situation can be a huge problem. Nevertheless, in many cases the lack of money is because people don’t have financial culture and they prefer to live in the moment- the here and now, forgetting their future and everything that involves retirement and having a livelihood for tomorrow. In many situations people spend more money than they have and the credit system is the way to deal with that but sometimes this issue becomes a nightmare where people are living to pay debts and this failure obscures the possibility of a promising future. Thus, my advice to go swimmingly financially is using some strategies like: saving money, spending less money than you earn, investing or creating simple and achievable business that help you to earn some extra income. 

So, the absence of money and time have a common element which is organization and discipline, where people can use some resources and habits which can help them to fulfill their goal. The most important thing is if you have an objective you should have the mindset and commitment to do it. I always write about the importance of our mindset and attitude but those elements move people. I am completely aware about the external factors and stimuli which influence our days and decisions but the message that I want to leave in this writing is when something depends on your actions and way to see the world then try to be assertive and use your time and money in the best way.  

DARR.

Community, Mental- Health, Personal Development, Self-Help, self-improvement, Success, Wellness

New Year’s Resolutions

dianangelika0607

10/01/21

Today is January 10th and it’s the first full week of 2021. So, time flies! And I want to ask you something: Do you have new year’s resolutions? Do you have some goals and targets for this new year?

I believe when the new year starts, we have enough motivation to begin something new like a project, maybe a diet or some physical training, perhaps to start a new course or studying a new language. Probably this year is different because it started with the challenge to face the situation of the pandemic and I know that it’s tough because we don’t have the same conditions as a normal year. Also, many of us had to deal with changes and losses last year left which entails that our emotions and motivations aren’t the same. However, from my perspective it’s really important to recharge our energy and make use of most of our skills and resources, also trying to acquire new habits and abilities with the purpose of shooting for the stars.

I believe that the barriers that people find in their ways to do something new can be from the environment but many times they are in their minds and the pretexts we use to justify our actions: “I don’t have time” and “I don’t have money” the two typical excuses that we have and I’m pretty sure that they can be true but many times it’s our mindset. Regarding to this I remember two important concepts which have relation with the previously written: Fixed mindset and Growing mindset: A “fixed mindset” assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are static givens which we can’t change in any meaningful way, and success is the affirmation of that inherent intelligence, an assessment of how those givens measure up against an equally fixed standard (…); A “growth mindset,” on the other hand, thrives on challenge and sees failure not as evidence of unintelligence but as a heartening springboard for growth and for stretching our existing abilities. (https://www.brainpickings.org/2014/01/29/carol-dweck-mindset/). Thus, those challenges and difficulties make the people have the thirst and enthusiasm to will something when they have a growing mindset and at the same the capacity to leave the comfort zone.

When people face something new there are insecurities in doing that, we feel fear of those stimuli which sometimes freeze us but at the same this anxiety drives us and moves us. Do you know that the word motivation is derived from the Latin word “movere”? Which means to move (Huber, 2006, p. 481). The word motivation gets its origin from the root word “motive” meaning the reason we do what we do (McLean, 2006). (http://motivationisfundamental.blogspot.com/p/motivation-relationship-to-learning.html).

Then, my advice is to start this new cycle with motivation and the best thoughts. Time is money and we have to take advantage of it, it’s better to regret what is done than what isn’t done. The most valuable approach is the way we take advantage of our time and the experiences that we have. So, which are your resolutions? Do you have a fixed mindset or growing mindset?

Finally, I want to share a link about this interesting topic of Fixed Mindset and Growing Mindset as a complement to my post:

Fixed vs. Growth: The Two Basic Mindsets That Shape Our Lives

Have a great day my friends!

DARR.