One of my premises is being surrounded by positive people who look on the bright side of things and think that the glass is half full. I believe optimism is something contagious and if you feel the good vibes from the other person, you can face your life in the same way.
On the contrary, if you perceive negativity from the environment, I’m sure that you feel burned out and unenthusiastic, it’s like the other person will steal your motivation.
As I mentioned in another post, not everything is a bed of roses and excessive optimism isn’t healthy either, but it’s important to get into something and be full of the joys of spring. Life is very short and if you see everything desolate and in a bad way, rest assured that the things you want will be difficult for you to fulfill. Why do we need to go across the longer and tough way? That’s right, if you feel on the ropes and that you’re throwing in the towel at any time in your life, that’s ok because people have ups and downs; however, staying in that state for a long time or indefinitely, that’s the problem, we can give a shot to the opportunities, perhaps they can be a big break for us. The most important thing is not to miss them out since we can regret it.
Life is a permanent learning and it’s like a gear where everything that you do generates impact in others. It’s like the Butterfly Effect which idea is that small things can have non-linear impacts on a complex system, in other words and taking this quote from Fitchte, The Vocation of Man (1800) “You could not remove a single grain of sand from its place without thereby … changing something throughout all parts of the immeasurable whole.” Then our behavior impacts others and vice versa, we are in continuous transformation where we have the chance to decide which is the better way to move ahead and what kind of people is adequate for us.
Have you found situations where the response that you get is “no”? How many times you’ve had face circumstances where things don’t go on your way? Or you have to change your mind and find a plan B.
People are in a constant search of goals and self-realization as it is posed in Abraham Maslow Hierarchy of Needs Theory: “In his quest to understand human motivation and the pursuit of happiness, he formulated a list of basic human needs that had to be fulfilled for maximum psychological health. Through his interviews and studies, he came to categorize a hierarchical list of needs that need to be fulfilled for increasing life satisfaction” (https://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/history-of-happiness/abraham-maslow). Those needs are Physiological needs, Safety needs, Love and Belonging, Esteem, and Self-actualization.
Thus, people in their different states are searching to fulfill their aims, nevertheless, they don’t always achieve them easily. They need to deal with those challenges, frustrations, and negative answers that make their lives more complex and tough. For example, getting a job, walking into the University, traveling to a different country, or finding the love of our lives, they’re different circumstances that we don’t always get on the first attempt.
When we find these situations, people can take them as a challenge in their lives and search for different strategies or resources to cope with them; however, other people prefer to give up their objectives, and desisting due to they could be perceiving that this is the best and an easy way to face them.
Tolerance to frustration is a great ally in these cases and reinvention capacity too. Many times, we’re waiting for that important answer from the job that we want, the acceptance to study at a university, or other situations where the response isn’t that we wanted and all of our projects and perspectives fall like a house of cards because we couldn’t accomplish that goal as we wanted to do. However, this doesn’t mean that everything is lost, you just have to wait or do a different maneuver to get to your goal.
Another point is “resilience” which “can be defined as reduced vulnerability to environmental risk experiences, the overcoming of stress or adversity, or a relatively good outcome despite the risk experiences” (Michael Rutter), In other words, when one door closes, another opens or every cloud has a silver lining. Many sayings have a relation with these situations and can give us motivation in those cases, then our role is to know how to play this game where we can go back and forth or face an intricate set of obstacles which we can find on our way but finally, they could become in opportunities in the future.
Perseverance, optimism, and constancy are elements that we can use in these situations and another important point is being surrounded by people who contribute to you, positive people who can give you a hand in those difficult times. Sadly, some people rejoice at our failures and when we have these types of people in our environment, the best thing is to get away from them. Toxic relationships aren’t healthy.
Not everything is lost, maybe we have to take more steps or walking across the long way but it doesn’t mean that we have a flop, contrary to this we’ve gained many lessons and we can learn from this the path that we decide to cross. Every day we can find new experiences, many times it’s good to think out of the box and take risks and never give up our purposes in the first attempt, we will always find solutions to hurdle those difficulties.
I know we can feel frustration, disappointment and rage since things aren’t always easy and we can’t avoid struggling with them, but the most important thing is to overcome those negative answers and belief in ourselves and our capacities to achieve our goals because after a storm comes a calm.
The world is in constant change and transformation and at the same time the ideologies to perceive it change too.
Lately I’ve felt surprised and perhaps upset about some news focused on censoring some Tv shows and movies because those are a bad influence and promote negative messages. That is the case of Pepe Le Pew a character from the Warner Brothers which was canceled because promoted rape culture”(https://www.skynews.com.au/details/_6239335745001) or Speedy Gonzalez due to “whose friends helped popularize the corrosive stereotype of the drunk and lethargic Mexicans.” (https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/pepe-le-pew-cancel-culture).
There are other cartoons like Peter Pan or Dumbo which were canceled too. In Dumbo, for instance, “the crows and musical number pay homage to racist minstrel shows, where white performers with blackened faces and tattered clothing imitated and ridiculed enslaved Africans on Southern plantations.
About all that situation, I believe it’s a delicate issue that can have two-coin sides. One side shows the new generations which are more critical and try to avoid behaviors like xenophobia, racism, chauvinism, sexism, etc. Promoting constant equality and respect for their rights. On the other hand, those Tv shows were recorded many years ago and many of us grew up watching them and nowadays we don’t have aggressive, violent or discriminatory behaviors because many of us had the support of someone at moment to see them or simply the messages of these shows were not so negative to introject offensive behaviors.
I really wish for a better world where the rights are respected, and we have equality and wellness but I believe the way to cancel and censorship every program isn’t the way. Every day I hear that a new program was censored or the story of a movie will be changed but at the same time as a paradox new songs or movies are released an many of them have negative and inappropriate messages but contrary to all prognostics, they have many followers.
Then, we’re living in a world of contrasts and divergences. I respect the different points of view but to cut with everything that was part of my childhood dramatically and drastically is disappointing, overwhelming and inconceivable. I believe that not just a TV Show shape your personality there are many other factors that influence us like family, school, friends, community and your own system of values and beliefs. As I said I don’t want to generate controversy. This writing is just to give my opinion about the way that the new generation is facing their reality. If you have an opinion about this topic, I would like to know about it.
People daily are back and forth with their routine, and they feel that have a lot on their plate. We’re immersed in different contexts (Home, School, Work, etc) where we need to respond in all of them. Also, we assume a specific role depending on the activities with our family, friends or colleagues.
Thus, the obligation that we have in those spaces many times generate that we spend energy and at the same time motivation to fulfill our purposes. So, this week I read a question that has a relation with all of this, and I found it interesting to answer and share it: What do you often do to keep on your motivation or energy?
I know there isn’t a special recipe and from my perspective to have motivation is an individual process, which just depends on each one. In my case, one of the resources that work for me is to listen to music, turn on the TV or laptop and let the environment is filled by different genres and rhythms. It’s a cool way to feel a good vibe in the atmosphere. Sometimes singing or dancing with a song gives me energy and motivation too, and it’s like to be with a group of fellas, feeling company or having my own party at home.
Another activity which helps me it’s doing exercise. I like to ride my static bike along a nice song in the background, I let my mind fly while I’m doing my routine. At another time going to the gym and doing group classes like: Step, Aerobics, Zumba or Pilates is another option to keep my motivation. For people who like meditation, yoga and other disciplines they are a good choice too.
Walking or jogging can be another way, mostly if you have the alternative to change the environment and go to the park or other enjoyable place where it changes the monotony of being in curfew.
If you like to cook, then this activity can help you be full of beans. Learning a new recipe or eating a scrumptious meal it’s a great option to be jazzed.
Reading a book, drawing, writing or meeting with folks can be other choices.
According to the question, there are many answers because the way to feel motivated and with energy just depends on each person and their experiences, hobbies and personality. Besides, the activities that I shared above can work for me, but perhaps in your case, you need to do others like drinking a big cup of coffee or an energy beverage just to mention some of them.
The key is that you know the stimuli which help you to keep your energy and motivation, and then make the most out of them. If you feel knackered, lacking of energy and demotivated this can generate other consequences as mental and physical illness, so be careful with your health. Just so you know “Everything is energy, your thought begins it, your emotion amplifies it, and your action increases the momentum.” (Unknown)
When people want to reach a goal or they have the expectations to do something important many times I’ve heard that the main pretext to achieve something is the lack of time or money. Actually, from my experience I’ve had to wait or postpone something for those two reasons and I know, not always it’s the precise time to do something that we want.
However, those words: time and money, can be a barrier and a mental pretext that humans create because in many occasions to leave the comfort zone is a risk that many of us want to avoid. We want to be comfortable with a known environment, the stimuli and resources and doing a step forward is a challenge because we don’t know if to take that risk will be the best decision but, in my country, we say: “El que no arriesga un huevo no gana un pollo” or in other words “Nothing ventured, nothing gained”. In many situations to face the unknown can have awards in the future.
Regarding the absence of time, it is very important to organize it and at the same time to have strategies to optimize and take advantage of every moment. Procrastination is a bad habit as the laziness or invention of excuses. Sometimes it is because we don’t know the tools to organize our schedule but there are many options which can help you to be productive and the use of them depends on if you’re a conventional or practical person. Some of those can be: Google calendar, agendas, alarms, time planners or reminders. Here is an interesting article about this topic and I think it’s very useful as a complement of this important theme: https://www.spica.com/blog/best-time-management-tools
About the money, this is an important point and more now that we’re in a time of pandemic many companies went bankrupt or they are dealing with the economy and many people have had to change their jobs, many of them were laid off and therefore the financial situation can be a huge problem. Nevertheless, in many cases the lack of money is because people don’t have financial culture and they prefer to live in the moment- the here and now, forgetting their future and everything that involves retirement and having a livelihood for tomorrow. In many situations people spend more money than they have and the credit system is the way to deal with that but sometimes this issue becomes a nightmare where people are living to pay debts and this failure obscures the possibility of a promising future. Thus, my advice to go swimmingly financially is using some strategies like: saving money, spending less money than you earn, investing or creating simple and achievable business that help you to earn some extra income.
So, the absence of money and time have a common element which is organization and discipline, where people can use some resources and habits which can help them to fulfill their goal. The most important thing is if you have an objective you should have the mindset and commitment to do it. I always write about the importance of our mindset and attitude but those elements move people. I am completely aware about the external factors and stimuli which influence our days and decisions but the message that I want to leave in this writing is when something depends on your actions and way to see the world then try to be assertive and use your time and money in the best way.
The past year was a tough year and humanity lived an exceptional period with challenges, obstacles and barriers. Watching on the news all dramatic cases, statistics growing and many human and financial losses without doubt was a hopeless year. I saw different behaviors and the ways how people faced the pandemic situation and I noticed people who followed the rules and indications and on the other hand disobedient and skeptical people. Now, we have the results of all of that where there are more people dying, UCI collapsing and businesses going bankrupt leaving a huge social and economic imbalance.
It’s incredible to acknowledge that everything is real and actually it’s happening and isn’t a fiction movie. However, there are people who believe that all started in a laboratory and it’s a conspiracy. There are a diversity of theories and ways which try to explain all of this but the reality is that we have a massive issue of public health.
I don’t know why people don’t get aware yet, many underestimate this virus and its consequences, I know we just lived Christmas time which it’s a period where people have gatherings with their love ones or they just travel and change of environment after a long year with a lot of labor, academic and personal responsibilities and the best way it’s to get away from the routine of everyday life. However, our reality is different and we need to wait, I know each person has their personal issues and priorities but do you believe that is the best time to travel or have massive gatherings? I’ve watched on the news many people enjoying this period in public places but I believe it’s somehow to throw everything overboard and our effort that we had during 2020 and contribute to the increase in the number of new cases.
For example, Ontario Finance Minister Rod Phillips has resigned from his position in cabinet after returning home from a personal trip to the Caribbean during the height of the coronavirus pandemic.
Premier Doug Ford released a statement Thursday, just hours after Phillips arrived back in Canada, saying he had accepted the minister’s resignation.
Why do people go against rules and guidelines? This case is one example of many, I’m really disappointed and upset by all of this. How many more victims? Until when?
Today is the first day of the year and we start this 2021 with expectations and goals for sure, but at the same time with the challenge to face all the remaining problems of 2020. I just wish you happiness, wellness and hope during 2021 and especially good health. I’m completely sure that every ending has a new beginning.
Today’s post title is an idiom which people use in my country, Colombia which in Spanish language is: “La esperanza es lo último que se pierde” and its meaning is like a consolation when somebody faces a difficult and distressing situation.
The idiom’s origin has relation with this myth: According to Hesiod, when Prometheus stole fire from heaven, Zeus, the king of the gods, took vengeance by presenting Pandora to Prometheus’ brother Epimetheus. Pandora opened a jar left in her care containing sickness, death and many other unspecified evils which were then released into the world. Though she hastened to close the container, only one thing was left behind – usually translated as Hope, though it could also have the pessimistic meaning of “deceptive expectation”.
From this story has grown the idiom “to open a Pandora’s box”, meaning to do or start something that will cause many unforeseen problems. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pandora%27s_box) Also, there is another meaning with this story which is: Hope is the last thing to be lost.
Do you believe that hope is the last thing to be lost? Many times, people can have pessimist and negative thoughts which are the result of different situations. People try to have an accomplishment or reach dreams or goals and they can find some obstacles to achieve them. When this happens is when people need to have resources to face those barriers and these elements can be own as skills and experiences and also, we can have external resources like social networks, financial, physical and cultural resources.
For example, in this time all the world is struggling to fight against Covid- 19. As a result of this pandemic a lot of people have died or we have had to face other types of losses (financial, labor or in relationships) but in recent days the outlook has been different in regard to this problem because fortunately some countries started to vaccinate some population. Obviously, the process is really slow but months ago we had no vaccines and at present the vaccination campaign started. Therefore, the situation generates hope and after a long time of continuous struggle, studies and tests there is a light at the end of the tunnel or in other words “every cloud has a silver lining”, hasn’t it?
The learning is to find solutions, take actions and don’t get carried away by emotions but make the most out of ideas and knowledge. Perhaps all of this in theory is easy to read but when somebody has many problems, frustrations, trials and tribulations it’s complex to apply it.
My suggestion is to find all the resources that you have, using communication and if necessary, seek help but never live with a sorrow, an anguish or a pain alone, asking for help won´t make you weaker and remember after the storm comes the calm or as Martin Luther King said “We must accept finite disappointment but never lose infinite hope”.
Do you agree or disagree? Leave your comments below.
Today is December 7th and in my country, Colombia we celebrate the Day of the Little Candles. Colombia is a country with many religious celebrations and today is in honor of the Virgin Mary and her Immaculate Conception.
The celebration of the Night of the Little Candles dates to December 7, 1854, when Pope Pius IX defined as dogma the Immaculate Conception of the Virgin Mary, published in his Apostolic constitution Ineffabilis Deus. In anticipation of this decision, people lit candles and paper lanterns to show their support and belief in this idea.
In Colombia, as in many places all over the world, this announcement was observed by lighting candles. The Catholic Church of Colombia kept the celebration alive and made an annual tradition of lighting candles the night of December 7. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day_of_the_Little_Candles)
This day is the official start of the Christmas season in my country. It’s an important celebration because families do gatherings and go outside on the streets and turn on lanterns and candles. Many of them cook delicious and traditional plates like buñuelos, natilla, hojuelas, rice pudding or cookies with wine. It’s amazing to see all houses with candles and feeling the vibe of the Christmas season.
However, this year is something special and some celebrations will be virtual or different due to the pandemic time, in my case is my first Christmas without my mom because she passed away in last December and it’s really tough. I remember she always asked me before this date: What are we doing today? What are we going to cook? She always enjoyed these celebrations and she was like a star because her personality had light and she was the center of my family and I suppose that today she will be present like the sparkle of one of those candles.
So, this a year of reflection as I mentioned in my previous writing and the celebrations will be different for sure but the most important thing is to have the best thoughts and energy for our love ones. Wishing to all my friends and relatives a beautiful Day of the Little Candles, enjoy this time but with responsibility and taking care of yourself, I know we will have better times and remember that the darkest hour is just before the dawn.
People are surrounded by an amount of emotions due to the fact that we are emotional and rational human beings. Each individual has their own identity which is like a stamp and those character traits facilitate the construction of interpersonal relationships.
However, from my perspective there are people whom their emotions overflow and many times show the worst side of humanity. For example, nowadays we’re in pandemic time and I’ve seen on the news and social media people attacking others because they ask them to wear face masks or using other measures of social distance and some of those people answering with hits, spits or swearing, being aggression and violence a reaction of them.
On the other hand, the isolation has changed our lifestyle and many people are working, studying and eating at home. Also, other people have faced the illness of a beloved or perhaps a loss represented in unemployment, death and instability. Therefore, there are some studies that show that the number of mental illnesses has increased due to Covid 19. “Studies indicate that the COVID-19 pandemic is associated with distress, anxiety, fear of contagion, depression and insomnia in the general population and among healthcare professionals. Social isolation, anxiety, fear of contagion, uncertainty, chronic stress and economic difficulties may lead to the development or exacerbation of depressive, anxiety, substance use and other psychiatric disorders in vulnerable populations including individuals with pre-existing psychiatric disorders and people who reside in high COVID-19 prevalence areas. Stress-related psychiatric conditions including mood and substance use disorders are associated with suicidal behavior” (https://academic.oup.com)
At the same time the statistics of suicides has increased too as well as the number of crimes and violence which makes the issue of COVID 19 not the only one we have to face.
Another problem is that the number of homeless in certain countries has grown quickly, such is the case of California in the U.S.; searching for some causes of that situation: job loss, drugs or alcohol use, divorce or separation, argument with a family member, domestic violence, eviction, mental health or release from jail.
So, our environment can be hostile and it triggers a series of socially maladaptive behaviors. Then, how can people be facing all of those changes? People need actions to assume a new adaptation and reorganize their routines. Also, it’s very important to have emotional intelligence and impulse control. This is a complex time where people should have healthy behaviors. Sometimes it’s preferable to avoid negative news and information in social media that tends to show tabloid news. My advice is reading a nice book, doing meditation or exercise. A friend told me that there is an interesting activity like virtual marathons where people who stay at home run a treadmill connected on line in competition with other runners. Besides, taking advantage of social networks for interacting with family, friends or participating in webinars, meetings or virtual courses. Creating something new or perhaps developing a new habit or abilities. I’ve seen interesting entrepreneurships in this time. Besides, speaking with someone and if required searching for professional help.
I confess that I have reached my breaking point and sometimes I’ve felt frustrated and tired of all this situation and mostly because I couldn’t go to my country to visit my dad and loved ones but I think that it’s a trial period and it’s our decision to show our better face.
Humans are moved by emotions and our trial is to try to use the positives and left to one side the negatives one. From my experience I feel renovated when I cry or scream because it works as catharsis but on the other hand I try to search other ways to face this hard situation with the best attitude, I say to myself it’s just a period and is temporary, after that I take a deep breath and I go my way.
Success is in reinvention and resilience, being assertive and socially responsible.
Finally I want to share some tips from The World Health Organization about Mental Health as complement to this post: https://www.who.int
This year 2020 is a period with an amount of challenges and proof for all of us. The word of the year is COVID.
I never thought that this period of pandemic time would be so long. In March when everything started, I believed that it was temporary and now, after 7 months and with the statistics changing and growing, it’s really frustrating that everything is at the same starting point. In fact, the last few days in Canada the number of cases has increased. At the moment we’re in the second wave.
So, I want to share with you two graphics about the statistics of Covid in Canada. The first graphic shows The Number of Total Cases vs Reporting Date. The second one is about the current situation and shows the total of cases (Date: October 15th,2020).
Both data were taken from the Government page: Canada.ca
According Ontario.ca, Ontario have reopened in three stages. Through all stages, public health and safety remained the number one priority, while balancing the needs of people and the economy.
Stage 1: Opening businesses that can immediately meet or modify operations to meet public health advice and workplace safety measures, and are considered lower risk settings for transmission of COVID-19.
Stage 2: Taking a regional approach to opening more businesses and services, as well as community, recreational and outdoor spaces, while emphasizing public health advice and personal responsibility.
Stage 3: Taking a regional approach to opening most businesses and services and all public spaces, with health and safety measures in place, and continuing to emphasize personal responsibility.
After summer the number of cases in most provinces have increased due to people didn’t took the self-care measures. I watched on TV a lot of people on the beaches, bars and restaurants without masks and “living la vida loca” like if nothing was happening and now the statistics show the consequences. Many cases are young people that are the reflection of those “fun gatherings”.
“Based on the advice of the Chief Medical Officer of Health, as of September 8, 2020, Ontario is pausing any further loosening of public health measures or reopening additional businesses, facilities and organizations”. (https://www.ontario.ca)
Obviously, the government needs that the number of cases decrease again and mostly because schools and universities started their activities in September and kids can be more exposed to the risk.
At present, the use of the face mask is obligatory but there are people who don’t wear it. In fact, I’ve watched on the news people protesting and against measures of self-care. There are still people who don’t believe in the virus and its consequences and those wayward people are a problem.
I know that we have to learn to live with the virus but we have to be careful. For 6 months the Canadian Government helped people with a subsidy of $2000 but nowadays it’s complicated that the Government continues with this policy due to finances being unsustainable.
Sometimes with my husband we go out on the street and try to take in new air and change the environment. It’s Fall and we like to see the landscapes of this season or walking at parks and enjoying nature. At times we go to the supermarket to buy groceries but we prefer to order at home and avoiding the crowds. We believe taking care of ourselves just depends on each other.
I know that this year has been harsh and frustrating. Stress, despair and impotence can be some emotions that people have felt sometimes. At the same time, it has been a huge hurdle for all of us and I’m sure that some of us have developed skills or we’ve found hobbies and different interests because the pandemic time teaches us to be resourceful, creative and resilient.
In summary this 2020 has been a year of challenges but at the same time with learnings and lessons, when people have learnt to find a mental, physical, emotional and spiritual balance.
Finally, I want to invite you to read another of my posts about the capacity to reinvent yourself in these times: https://dianix.news.blog
DIANIX JOURNEY 