Tag: perseverance

Community, knowledge, Mental- Health, Personal Development, Self-Help, self-improvement, Success, Wellness

How To Overcome Negative Answers?

dianangelika0607

27/06/21

Have you found situations where the response that you get is “no”? How many times you’ve had face circumstances where things don’t go on your way? Or you have to change your mind and find a plan B.

People are in a constant search of goals and self-realization as it is posed in Abraham Maslow Hierarchy of Needs Theory: “In his quest to understand human motivation and the pursuit of happiness, he formulated a list of basic human needs that had to be fulfilled for maximum psychological health. Through his interviews and studies, he came to categorize a hierarchical list of needs that need to be fulfilled for increasing life satisfaction” (https://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/history-of-happiness/abraham-maslow). Those needs are Physiological needs, Safety needs, Love and Belonging, Esteem, and Self-actualization.

Thus, people in their different states are searching to fulfill their aims, nevertheless, they don’t always achieve them easily. They need to deal with those challenges, frustrations, and negative answers that make their lives more complex and tough. For example, getting a job, walking into the University, traveling to a different country, or finding the love of our lives, they’re different circumstances that we don’t always get on the first attempt.

When we find these situations, people can take them as a challenge in their lives and search for different strategies or resources to cope with them; however, other people prefer to give up their objectives, and desisting due to they could be perceiving that this is the best and an easy way to face them.

Tolerance to frustration is a great ally in these cases and reinvention capacity too. Many times, we’re waiting for that important answer from the job that we want, the acceptance to study at a university, or other situations where the response isn’t that we wanted and all of our projects and perspectives fall like a house of cards because we couldn’t accomplish that goal as we wanted to do. However, this doesn’t mean that everything is lost, you just have to wait or do a different maneuver to get to your goal.   

Another point is “resilience” which “can be defined as reduced vulnerability to environmental risk experiences, the overcoming of stress or adversity, or a relatively good outcome despite the risk experiences” (Michael Rutter), In other words, when one door closes, another opens or every cloud has a silver lining. Many sayings have a relation with these situations and can give us motivation in those cases, then our role is to know how to play this game where we can go back and forth or face an intricate set of obstacles which we can find on our way but finally, they could become in opportunities in the future.

Perseverance, optimism, and constancy are elements that we can use in these situations and another important point is being surrounded by people who contribute to you, positive people who can give you a hand in those difficult times. Sadly, some people rejoice at our failures and when we have these types of people in our environment, the best thing is to get away from them. Toxic relationships aren’t healthy.

Not everything is lost, maybe we have to take more steps or walking across the long way but it doesn’t mean that we have a flop, contrary to this we’ve gained many lessons and we can learn from this the path that we decide to cross. Every day we can find new experiences, many times it’s good to think out of the box and take risks and never give up our purposes in the first attempt, we will always find solutions to hurdle those difficulties.

I know we can feel frustration, disappointment and rage since things aren’t always easy and we can’t avoid struggling with them, but the most important thing is to overcome those negative answers and belief in ourselves and our capacities to achieve our goals because after a storm comes a calm.

DARR.

Community, Mental- Health, Personal Development, Self-Help, self-improvement, Success, Wellness

The Pursuit Of Happiness

dianangelika0607

09/04/21

The satisfaction a person feels when they reach a goal is a sensation which it’s hard to explain but it’s the reward after facing barriers and obstacles that they can find in their way. I remember the last scene of the movie “The pursuit of Happiness” where the protagonist characterized by Will Smith achieved his goal. After many failures and frustrations, some doors closed and losses like his job, relationship, home and stability, he could face those difficulties using different resources, perseverance and the desire to be a better man.

How many times have you been feeling like that guy? Sometimes we can lose hope and the wish to pursue that dream, things don’t go our way and we just need to roll with the punches. I know, this is a huge challenge and mostly these days, where we’re living a period totally unthinkable. The pandemic has unchained mental diseases, people have suffered from different disorders and behaviors like anxiety, increased levels of alcohol and drugs use for mentioning some of them. There are people more vulnerable than others on manifesting different conducts and in those cases it’s really important that the person has support networks. The ideal thing is that the person could be resilient like Chris Gardner, the main character of the movie that I mentioned above and who live difficult times but he could deal with them. However, not everyone counts with those skills and mental power therefore it’s important having into account social networks and other external helps. The success is having a balance between our thoughts and actions.

I’m aware that people have to face different problems and I can’t underestimate their issues, in my country there is this saying: “No one knows the thirst with which other drinks”. We have to be empathetic and try to put ourselves in the position of someone because life takes many turns and if we can help someone and give support, it’s welcome.

I would like to give you an advice in these difficult times. I’ve had moments where I would have liked to throw in the towel. The harshest situation which I had to deal was when my mom passed away in December 2019 and two months later the pandemic started, besides along my husband we had to face issues as immigrants which were not easy, then I had times of ups and downs; actually, right now not everything is perfect but I can tell you that things have improved a bunch and the way I chose as strategy was to reinvent myself. So, people can see themselves on the verge of the misfortune and one choice is to run away and falter but the other option is to cope with those difficult times, there is nothing more rewarding than feeling an immense satisfaction when managing to overcome an obstacle, it’s like Chris Gardner in the ending scene where he feels an extreme and powerful happiness after having struggled intensely.

Then, my buddies, I know life has challenges and we have to deal with hurdles but if you want to reach the peak of the mountain you have to prepare for that.  Finally, I want to wrap up with this quote by As Alistair MacLeond that I found totally inspiring: “No one has ever said that life is to be easy. Only that it’s to be lived”. What do you think? I would like to read you in the comments.

DARR.

 

Community, information, Mental- Health, Self-Help, Success, Wellness

The Value Of A Promise

dianangelika0607

19/11/20

I was thinking about how it’s important to keep our promises with ourselves and with other people.  It’s very important to have discipline, perseverance and dedication. For example, if I want to start a new project like studying a career, starting a diet or losing weight, reading a book or doing exercise, you need to focus on that goal and work hard on it. However, to have the mindset and dedicate yourself to that goal it’s not always easy. There are some factors around the environment which can be distractors or obstacles in that process as some traits or habits in our personality. Some of them can be procrastination, sloth, lack of time and money as well as the excuses: “Tomorrow I’ll start”, “I don’t have time” “I have a ton of work” “I’m busy with my husband/kids” etc. At the same time unfulfilled promises toward the family, friends, couples, colleagues, etc., such as: “I’ll call you tomorrow” “You’re the love of my life” “I’m going to buy you that” “See you tomorrow” etc.

From my point of view, generating false expectations isn’t right but nowadays the informality in our communications is typical where in a communication on WhatsApp, Telegram or another Social Media we leave incomplete conversations or we don’t say goodbye and we just assume something and that can be an agent to misunderstand a message. The same way can happen with an unfulfilled promise. There’s an assumption and each person interprets something according to their experiences, thoughts and beliefs.

In the construction of relationships there is an interchange of knowledge and behavior, at the same time the personality plays an important role. Our behavior can affect other people, our pledges too and for that reason it’s very important to be tactful with our words and expressions. If I promise something it´s better to keep it because we don’t know if the other person is waiting with expectations, emotion or anxiety. For example, telling a child that you are going to give him/her something, that promise must be fulfilled because there is nothing sadder than breaking a child’s heart with lies and false commitments.

Adults are more resilient; however, we can’t play with people’s emotions. My mom said that the words have power and I can’t agree more with that. We need to be careful with our words and our actions because we don’t know what’s inside each individual. We need to be respectful, kind and empathetic with others. At the same time, take care for ourself and search for happiness, achieve our goals and create new ones. Each promise has a value and can be meaningful to people.    

Finally, I would like to finish with this quote: “Keep your word. When you say you will do something and don’t do it, you teach others (including yourself) that you cannot be trusted”. Do you agree with that?

DARR.