Tag: emotions

knowledge, Mental- Health, Self-Help, self-improvement, Success, Wellness

Is Optimism Contagious?

dianangelika0607

15/08/21

One of my premises is being surrounded by positive people who look on the bright side of things and think that the glass is half full. I believe optimism is something contagious and if you feel the good vibes from the other person, you can face your life in the same way.

On the contrary, if you perceive negativity from the environment, I’m sure that you feel burned out and unenthusiastic, it’s like the other person will steal your motivation.

As I mentioned in another post, not everything is a bed of roses and excessive optimism isn’t healthy either, but it’s important to get into something and be full of the joys of spring. Life is very short and if you see everything desolate and in a bad way, rest assured that the things you want will be difficult for you to fulfill. Why do we need to go across the longer and tough way? That’s right, if you feel on the ropes and that you’re throwing in the towel at any time in your life, that’s ok because people have ups and downs; however, staying in that state for a long time or indefinitely, that’s the problem, we can give a shot to the opportunities, perhaps they can be a big break for us. The most important thing is not to miss them out since we can regret it.

Life is a permanent learning and it’s like a gear where everything that you do generates impact in others. It’s like the Butterfly Effect which idea is that small things can have non-linear impacts on a complex system, in other words and taking this quote from Fitchte, The Vocation of Man (1800) “You could not remove a single grain of sand from its place without thereby … changing something throughout all parts of the immeasurable whole.” Then our behavior impacts others and vice versa, we are in continuous transformation where we have the chance to decide which is the better way to move ahead and what kind of people is adequate for us.

DARR.

Mental- Health, Personal Development, Self-Help, self-improvement, Success, Wellness

Why Is It important To Take Risks In Our Lives?

dianangelika0607

07/08/21

An important person taught me that people can take calculated risks in their lives, which means that they can face situations as a learning process. For example, they can leave their comfort zone with the intention to obtain something better. Logically it’s important to evaluate the pros and cons of those experiences and make the decision without risking our own resources and rather having a profit or reward.

From my point of view, we have to take wise decisions and ignoring what other people think, we can lose opportunities just because we have fears, ideas, misconceptions or we give a lot of importance to others, however with the passing of time I’ve learned that a useful strategy it’s thinking in the worst-case scenario for each situation. That’s right, there are situations where we can feel churn or unnerved and we can avoid them or give up but why? Isn’t better to take the chance and do something where success might be a likely outcome?

Many times, the previous experiences where the result hasn’t been the best paralyzes us on similar situations in the future due to us generalizing, but remember that not all experiences are equal.

My advice is to grab opportunities but without throwing caution to the wind, I believe the ideal state it’s a balance between emotion and reason, remember that life is what you make it without acting wild and avoiding putting all eggs in one basket.

DARR.

Community, covid 19, Hobbies, Mental- Health, Personal Development, Self-Help, self-improvement, Success, Wellness

How To Build Auto Motivation?

dianangelika0607

17/01/21

These days when we’ve been suffering from the inclemency and consequences from a ruthless virus and we’ve changed our perspective to see the world and also our projects, goals and dreams have had to wait or maybe we’ve had to take a step forward and change our mindset and perception of everything. Then, I ask myself: How are people facing this situation? Every individual is different and there are extrovert and introvert people. How people who used to do activities every day, socializing and interacting with others, suddenly they had to change their routines and follow the guideline “stay at home” and “curfew”?

Probably for some people to deal with this reality have been easier than others. However, it’s clear that the monotony and routine trigger different behaviors and on some occasion mental diseases and disorders.  

I have a friend who had Covid-19 and days after he developed bipolar disorder (he had a history of this disease). I don’t know if that was a consequence of the lockdown that he had to face or just a coincidence. Luckily, he’s now in rehabilitation and recovering slowly.    

Fortunately, every cloud has a silver lining and just as there are wayward people whose actions go against the laws and rules on the other hand many people are creating strategies to motivate each other in a healthy way. For example, this week I watched a catchy video on YouTube called “The Wellerman” which is a sea shanty “a type of work song that was once commonly sung to accompany rhythmical labor on board large merchant sailing vessels”. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sea_shanty.

“Nathan Evans, a 26-year-old postman and aspiring musician from outside Glasgow, is credited with having started the “ShantyTok” trend with his rousing rendition of Wellerman, posted in late December (…)

In the US and UK, Wellerman’s surprise popularity is being held up as evidence of the mental toll of months-long lockdown (…)  the Covid lockdowns have put millions of young [people] into a similar situation that young whalers were in 200 years ago: confined for the foreseeable future, often far from home, running out of necessities, always in risk of sudden death, and spending long hours with no communal activities to cheer them up.” https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/jan/15/shantytok-how-a-19th-century-seafaring-epic-inspired-a-covid-generation

This hopeful song shows me another face in how people cope with their problems. This is the link to this addictive song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgsurPg9Ckw

As well as that catchy song I have seen other resources which help people to be aware of their emotions and address the current crisis using some alternatives through activities like: dancing, painting, singing, cooking, doing exercise, reading or assisting to virtual courses to mentioned some of them. Personally, I have developed some habits like reading, cooking and doing exercise. I love to do spinning on my static bike, I just play a song which has flow and I do my routines, when I’m on my bike my mind flies and my endorphins are released. Of course, all of this depends on each person’s preferences, resources and interests.

My fellas, I recommend you to use your skills and resources, we are all different for sure, but using communication and talking about your feelings and thoughts. If you have access to the Internet take advantage of social media, there are value information that can help you to deal with this difficult period and finally, I always write about this point but I prefer to repeat it over and over again: use your social networks i.e., family, friends, coworkers, fellows, community, etc.

Last but not least, I want to dedicate this post to my friend AD and all people who had lost hope sometime in this difficult time. Well, I wrap up this write for today. Have a good one.

DARR.

Community, Mental- Health, Personal Development, Self-Help, self-improvement, Success, Wellness

New Year’s Resolutions

dianangelika0607

10/01/21

Today is January 10th and it’s the first full week of 2021. So, time flies! And I want to ask you something: Do you have new year’s resolutions? Do you have some goals and targets for this new year?

I believe when the new year starts, we have enough motivation to begin something new like a project, maybe a diet or some physical training, perhaps to start a new course or studying a new language. Probably this year is different because it started with the challenge to face the situation of the pandemic and I know that it’s tough because we don’t have the same conditions as a normal year. Also, many of us had to deal with changes and losses last year left which entails that our emotions and motivations aren’t the same. However, from my perspective it’s really important to recharge our energy and make use of most of our skills and resources, also trying to acquire new habits and abilities with the purpose of shooting for the stars.

I believe that the barriers that people find in their ways to do something new can be from the environment but many times they are in their minds and the pretexts we use to justify our actions: “I don’t have time” and “I don’t have money” the two typical excuses that we have and I’m pretty sure that they can be true but many times it’s our mindset. Regarding to this I remember two important concepts which have relation with the previously written: Fixed mindset and Growing mindset: A “fixed mindset” assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are static givens which we can’t change in any meaningful way, and success is the affirmation of that inherent intelligence, an assessment of how those givens measure up against an equally fixed standard (…); A “growth mindset,” on the other hand, thrives on challenge and sees failure not as evidence of unintelligence but as a heartening springboard for growth and for stretching our existing abilities. (https://www.brainpickings.org/2014/01/29/carol-dweck-mindset/). Thus, those challenges and difficulties make the people have the thirst and enthusiasm to will something when they have a growing mindset and at the same the capacity to leave the comfort zone.

When people face something new there are insecurities in doing that, we feel fear of those stimuli which sometimes freeze us but at the same this anxiety drives us and moves us. Do you know that the word motivation is derived from the Latin word “movere”? Which means to move (Huber, 2006, p. 481). The word motivation gets its origin from the root word “motive” meaning the reason we do what we do (McLean, 2006). (http://motivationisfundamental.blogspot.com/p/motivation-relationship-to-learning.html).

Then, my advice is to start this new cycle with motivation and the best thoughts. Time is money and we have to take advantage of it, it’s better to regret what is done than what isn’t done. The most valuable approach is the way we take advantage of our time and the experiences that we have. So, which are your resolutions? Do you have a fixed mindset or growing mindset?

Finally, I want to share a link about this interesting topic of Fixed Mindset and Growing Mindset as a complement to my post:

Fixed vs. Growth: The Two Basic Mindsets That Shape Our Lives

Have a great day my friends!

DARR.

self-improvement

Learning To Say Goodbye

dianangelika0607

10/10/20

Talking about mourning it’s not easy due to it being a complex topic and each person has different experiences and resources to face the problem.

In my case, ten months ago, I had the experience of losing my mother, who was everything to me. For that reason, I want to share this reality with you. I’m aware that this experience is really personal, however I know that people learn through others and therefore I want to tell about this difficult moment and at the same time this works as therapy for me.

My mourning started when I knew about my mom’s diagnosis. She had started having stomach pain frequently and after some tests the doctors realized that her problem was pancreatic cancer. I knew that her problem was very serious but at the same time I had confidence in the science and the medical team that was treating her. I was very optimistic until the last moment. Also, I thought that hope is the last thing that to lose.

The process of my mom started in May 2019; she had a whipple procedure in June. It was a complex and risky surgery but my mom faced it like a warrior. After that she had chemotherapy. On the first cycles my mom showed improvement but afterwards the indicators started to change and her health too. My mom struggled until the last day and it was a big lesson for me. Now, I admire her more because she showed me her straight, courage and bravery.

In my process of mourning or grief I’ve felt different emotions like a roller coaster.

The pain in the first days and months was really unbearable. At the same time, I felt guilty and had a bittersweet flavor because I believed that I hadn’t done enough. I was overwhelmed because I experienced different emotions such as rage, surprise, loneliness, melancholia and deep sadness in a short time and I wondered why?

Something that has helped me a lot is to talk and express my emotions and my husband has helped me in this phase, he listens to me and gives me advices. He says that sometimes he doesn’t have the best words to say to me but I believe that the simple fact of feeling that someone listens to you is a gain. At the same time, I found support and help from many people which give me strength and energy to face the situation.

I think if people don’t communicate, preferring to stay alone and locked in their spaces this behavior can be unhealthy. Although it depends on each person and their mindset and personal resources.

On the other hand, the memory and essence of my mom help me to stay with my goals and activities. And I believe that my dad has similar resources. He lived with my mother 38 years and now he’s a widower. I admire my dad because he’s very resourceful and takes advantage of the support networks. He lives alone because I’m living in another country and I’m an only child but I’ve seen that he’s very resilient. It’s natural that my dad feeds on my mom’s memories like photos, letters, songs or her paintings, because she was a talented painter.

But also, he reads books of self-improvement, listens to music, watches TV, surfs the internet and keeps in touch with other people like family and friends through WhatsApp or other Apps. I talk with him twice every day and it’s a way to keep our bond.

With time I’ve learned that there isn’t a recipe to cure pain and it’s just the time and the memories of your beloved which help you to face their loss. My dad and I are in the process yet and isn’t easy. I just talked to him and he told me that he had planned to hang out with a relative and I’m glad because he has the best attitude to face life and at the same time has his mind busy.

I know that life gives us difficult trials and at some point, you could have a loss, maybe someone passes away, or a breakdown of the relationship or perhaps losing your job. The most important thing is to use your own resources and if it’s necessary to find help, everybody face trials differently but remember that “The darkest hour is just before the down”.

Finally, I want to share with you an article about The Five Stages of Grieve. That theory was created by the psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. This is not the absolute truth because there are different theories and studies about grief and mourning but can be an interesting resource like many others.

https://www.verywellmind.com/five-stages-of-grief-4175361

This writing is in memory of my mom Amparo Ruíz Martínez.

DARR.