Tag: happiness

27/06/21

Have you found situations where the response that you get is “no”? How many times you’ve had face circumstances where things don’t go on your way? Or you have to change your mind and find a plan B.

People are in a constant search of goals and self-realization as it is posed in Abraham Maslow Hierarchy of Needs Theory: “In his quest to understand human motivation and the pursuit of happiness, he formulated a list of basic human needs that had to be fulfilled for maximum psychological health. Through his interviews and studies, he came to categorize a hierarchical list of needs that need to be fulfilled for increasing life satisfaction” (https://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/history-of-happiness/abraham-maslow). Those needs are Physiological needs, Safety needs, Love and Belonging, Esteem, and Self-actualization.

Thus, people in their different states are searching to fulfill their aims, nevertheless, they don’t always achieve them easily. They need to deal with those challenges, frustrations, and negative answers that make their lives more complex and tough. For example, getting a job, walking into the University, traveling to a different country, or finding the love of our lives, they’re different circumstances that we don’t always get on the first attempt.

When we find these situations, people can take them as a challenge in their lives and search for different strategies or resources to cope with them; however, other people prefer to give up their objectives, and desisting due to they could be perceiving that this is the best and an easy way to face them.

Tolerance to frustration is a great ally in these cases and reinvention capacity too. Many times, we’re waiting for that important answer from the job that we want, the acceptance to study at a university, or other situations where the response isn’t that we wanted and all of our projects and perspectives fall like a house of cards because we couldn’t accomplish that goal as we wanted to do. However, this doesn’t mean that everything is lost, you just have to wait or do a different maneuver to get to your goal.   

Another point is “resilience” which “can be defined as reduced vulnerability to environmental risk experiences, the overcoming of stress or adversity, or a relatively good outcome despite the risk experiences” (Michael Rutter), In other words, when one door closes, another opens or every cloud has a silver lining. Many sayings have a relation with these situations and can give us motivation in those cases, then our role is to know how to play this game where we can go back and forth or face an intricate set of obstacles which we can find on our way but finally, they could become in opportunities in the future.

Perseverance, optimism, and constancy are elements that we can use in these situations and another important point is being surrounded by people who contribute to you, positive people who can give you a hand in those difficult times. Sadly, some people rejoice at our failures and when we have these types of people in our environment, the best thing is to get away from them. Toxic relationships aren’t healthy.

Not everything is lost, maybe we have to take more steps or walking across the long way but it doesn’t mean that we have a flop, contrary to this we’ve gained many lessons and we can learn from this the path that we decide to cross. Every day we can find new experiences, many times it’s good to think out of the box and take risks and never give up our purposes in the first attempt, we will always find solutions to hurdle those difficulties.

I know we can feel frustration, disappointment and rage since things aren’t always easy and we can’t avoid struggling with them, but the most important thing is to overcome those negative answers and belief in ourselves and our capacities to achieve our goals because after a storm comes a calm.

DARR.