Author: dianangelika0607

Here I starting my journey, my adventure, my way and my new challenge. I’m Diana and I’m here to share my experiences and guide you in different situations based in my knowledge and profession. Welcome!
self-improvement

Learning To Say Goodbye

dianangelika0607

10/10/20

Talking about mourning it’s not easy due to it being a complex topic and each person has different experiences and resources to face the problem.

In my case, ten months ago, I had the experience of losing my mother, who was everything to me. For that reason, I want to share this reality with you. I’m aware that this experience is really personal, however I know that people learn through others and therefore I want to tell about this difficult moment and at the same time this works as therapy for me.

My mourning started when I knew about my mom’s diagnosis. She had started having stomach pain frequently and after some tests the doctors realized that her problem was pancreatic cancer. I knew that her problem was very serious but at the same time I had confidence in the science and the medical team that was treating her. I was very optimistic until the last moment. Also, I thought that hope is the last thing that to lose.

The process of my mom started in May 2019; she had a whipple procedure in June. It was a complex and risky surgery but my mom faced it like a warrior. After that she had chemotherapy. On the first cycles my mom showed improvement but afterwards the indicators started to change and her health too. My mom struggled until the last day and it was a big lesson for me. Now, I admire her more because she showed me her straight, courage and bravery.

In my process of mourning or grief I’ve felt different emotions like a roller coaster.

The pain in the first days and months was really unbearable. At the same time, I felt guilty and had a bittersweet flavor because I believed that I hadn’t done enough. I was overwhelmed because I experienced different emotions such as rage, surprise, loneliness, melancholia and deep sadness in a short time and I wondered why?

Something that has helped me a lot is to talk and express my emotions and my husband has helped me in this phase, he listens to me and gives me advices. He says that sometimes he doesn’t have the best words to say to me but I believe that the simple fact of feeling that someone listens to you is a gain. At the same time, I found support and help from many people which give me strength and energy to face the situation.

I think if people don’t communicate, preferring to stay alone and locked in their spaces this behavior can be unhealthy. Although it depends on each person and their mindset and personal resources.

On the other hand, the memory and essence of my mom help me to stay with my goals and activities. And I believe that my dad has similar resources. He lived with my mother 38 years and now he’s a widower. I admire my dad because he’s very resourceful and takes advantage of the support networks. He lives alone because I’m living in another country and I’m an only child but I’ve seen that he’s very resilient. It’s natural that my dad feeds on my mom’s memories like photos, letters, songs or her paintings, because she was a talented painter.

But also, he reads books of self-improvement, listens to music, watches TV, surfs the internet and keeps in touch with other people like family and friends through WhatsApp or other Apps. I talk with him twice every day and it’s a way to keep our bond.

With time I’ve learned that there isn’t a recipe to cure pain and it’s just the time and the memories of your beloved which help you to face their loss. My dad and I are in the process yet and isn’t easy. I just talked to him and he told me that he had planned to hang out with a relative and I’m glad because he has the best attitude to face life and at the same time has his mind busy.

I know that life gives us difficult trials and at some point, you could have a loss, maybe someone passes away, or a breakdown of the relationship or perhaps losing your job. The most important thing is to use your own resources and if it’s necessary to find help, everybody face trials differently but remember that “The darkest hour is just before the down”.

Finally, I want to share with you an article about The Five Stages of Grieve. That theory was created by the psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. This is not the absolute truth because there are different theories and studies about grief and mourning but can be an interesting resource like many others.

https://www.verywellmind.com/five-stages-of-grief-4175361

This writing is in memory of my mom Amparo Ruíz Martínez.

DARR.

Sin categoría

The Recipe For Recuperating From Extreme Heartbreak

dianangelika0607

29/09/2020

Taking the determination to end a relationship is an important decision because it’s to close a period and starting a new life alone and with new expectations.

There are different motives to break up with someone, for example people can idealize their couple or the relationship becomes toxic or merely the infidelity appears. Meanwhile, a bittersweet flavor and in many occasions the extreme heartbreak are the main character in this history and then the pain in the chest and the absolute sadness are a consequence of this heartbreak. Then, I ask the question: What’s the recipe for recuperating from extreme heartbreak?

First of all, the heartbreak is a loss like a mourning and therefore each person needs time to recover. If the person wants to cry and get the feelings off the chest that’s healthy. However, having constant isolation and being alone for a long time isn’t the best way. The most important thing is to fill in the mind with new activities and that depends on the interest of each person: listen to music, read books about resilience, motivation or self-improvement, for example, exercise, go to the movies or hang out with friends. There is a proverb which says: “One nail drives out another”. From my point of view the proverb applies not just with starting a new relationship but having an open mind and turning over a new leaf.   

Another recommendation is holding the head up, no matter what was the motive of this heartbreak, but all the time trust in yourself and having a high self-esteem. Some people believe that they had the fault and responsibility of that situation but if a relationship doesn’t work it’s due to both.

Finally, all people are different some of them are emotional other are rational and therefore the way to face a problem (in this case a heartbreak) is different because that depends on the resources of each one. The most important thing is remembering that “The darkest hour is just before the down”.

DARR.

Sin categoría

YOLO

dianangelika0607

15/09/2020

Life is not predictable and suddenly something can happen and you’re not prepared for those changes. Therefore, it’s important to act in the here and now and make decisions and not wait for “the best time”. Sometimes people procrastinate and to start something new for example studying, working, doing exercise or starting a new project they have an excuse to avoid taking the first step. At the same time the opportunities are lost because it is better to chill out but the time passes and people grow old.

So, enjoying life and everything that is part of is a marvelous therapy that feeds the soul: “Nothing ventured, nothing gained”. Sad moments happen and suddenly our beloveds can become sick or perhaps pass away and we never express our feelings to them and just regret remains.

Nowadays, people long  for the time with their relatives, friends or fellows and they wish to come back to their life before pandemic time but when they had the possibility to take advantage of their environment, they ignored the little and special things of the life as celebrating a birthday, drinking or eating something at restaurant, hanging out with friends, going to the beach, walking at park and all things that now are unlikely because of the pandemic.  

No one knows what one has, until one loses it. Why do we need to wait for something special to happen? Remember YOLO “You only live once” and the best things in life can be free, life is what you make it and while you decide if it’s better to leave your comfort zone and take risks at the same time you could be loosen opportunities.

DARR.

Sin categoría

The Decision To Choose A Career

dianangelika0607

1/09/2020

Choosing a career isn’t an easy decision because the person will be linked to this profession their entire life.

The most important path for those students is choosing their career by themselves. It’s a big mistake by parents to generate pressure on their children and force them to study something that they don’t like. In those cases, frustration and demotivation appear as response to that pressure and desertion and abandonment of their studies is the result.

Another point is to state updates about the labor market and answer the question Which area has more opportunities? According to Forbes Magazine which at the same time was based on information from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics the jobs are expected to grow in demand in the near future are: Mathematicians, Software Developers/Applications, Physical Therapist Assistants, Statisticians, Nurse Practitioners, Personal Care Aides, Physician Assistants, Home Health Aides, Wind Turbine Service Technicians and Solar Photovoltaic Installers. Obviously, that list of jobs might be changed according to the market needs. So, it’s important to read and investigate it.

On the other hand, the skills are essential to take that decision. For example, the theory of multiple intelligences explains that each individual has specific skills and capacities, some of them develop over time and others can be innate. The point is answering the question What am I good for?

Lastly, another strategy is to talk with people that have experience in the career that you are interested in and those persons can tell you about the pros and cons. It’s useful to learn about the experience of others. By the way, you can consult with a psychologist who has experience in professional orientation. They have some instruments and assessments which can help you too.  

To conclude, choosing studies is a momentous decision and that depends on multiple factors but the most important is feeling satisfied with that decision and taking advantage of it.

I share the link of the Forbes Magazine article https://www.forbes.com/pictures/5a009ede4bbe6f37dda1ceb7/fastest-growing-jobs-of-t/#24b975cc34bd 

DARR.

Sin categoría

What If I Believe In Destiny?

dianangelika0607

17/08/2020

I would like to do my writing of this week answering this question: What’s your opinion on fate?

Just a few days ago the RealLife English You Tube Channel shared a scene of the movie Matrix where Morpheus asked Neo if he believed in fate and Neo answered “No, because I don´t like the idea that I’m not in control of my life”.

In my case I have lived some experiences that have been odd. For example, meeting someone at a specific hour, date and place. Why? Did that situation depend on me or was it merely written in my destiny? From my point of view, I believe that we have to do actions to build our way. If I want to reach a goal, I’ll have to take action to achieve that target.

Life has opportunities and options where each person is free to choose them. That depends on the priorities and preferences. At the same time personality, beliefs and behavior play an important role.

If we think about our present: Is global warming part of our destiny? Or maybe people have been taking actions that make them responsible for the problem? I think we are the architects of our lives and we drive our path according to our feelings, emotions and thoughts.

On the podcast that I heard on this week Chad and Justin spoke about destiny and they said “If you´re really inspired to do something you can achieve that” it’s like to take the bull by the horns. Life is unpredictable like the quote from the movie Forest Gump “Life is like a box of chocolates” that means that “You never know what you’re going to get”. The most important thing is to take advantage of those opportunities that life gives us and learn with them.

DARR.

Community, Mental- Health, Personal Development, Self-Help, self-improvement, Wellness

Its Cool To Be Kind

dianangelika0607

13/08/2020

This week I listened to a podcast which heading was “Its cool to be kind”. The essence of that podcast is there are people who enjoy to help others without receiving anything in return.

In this world where there are a lot of social differences and those generate poverty and needs in some communities and social groups and at the same time foundations, organizations or merely persons who want to help that vulnerable population.

When I lived in Colombia I worked at University where the slogan is “Education available to everyone”. That means to offer education to all people no matter race, gender, age, ethnic group or beliefs, the most important thing is to have good quality education for a low price. It’s important to clarify that Colombian education isn´t free as in other countries.

My experience there was really gratifying because it was to help ­­­people, with my profession and at the same time I learned with them. Students taught me about goodness and humility.

Doing humanitarian labor feeds the spirit and the reward is to see happy people. Here in Canada I’m done volunteering and it’s fulfilling too. In Colombia there is the following proverb: Today for you tomorrow for me. That means if you help someone sometime, it’s possible that at the time you need help you can find a kind person who helps you too. It’s like the movie Pay it Forward where the principal idea is “a charitable program based on the networking of good deeds. The main character calls his plan, which means the recipient of a favor does a favor for three others rather than paying the favor back”.

Definitely they are people with big feelings and with the vocation to help others, that reminds me of the concept of philanthropy which “…is an idea, event, or action that is done to better humanity and usually involves some sacrifice as opposed to being done for a profit motive. Acts of philanthropy include donating money to a charity, volunteering at a local shelter, or raising money to donate to cancer research”.

On the podcast there’s a story about a guy who travels around the world and hopes the generosity of people will keep him going. He says “Giving is better than receiving”. This is a link that shows part of his journeys in his program telling “The kindness Diaries”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vN51oWwwbqg.

In summary, I hope you have enjoyed this writing about generosity, fulfilling and kindness. I want to conclude with this quote of Princess Diana “Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.”

DARR.

Hobbies, information, knowledge

The Charm Of The Weather

dianangelika0607

03/08/2020

Many people have the misconception that living in a country like Canada is difficult due to its climate.

Before coming here, I was thinking about taking this important decision. One of the points that we evaluated with my husband was the climate for sure. This country has seasons but certainly the winter in Canada is really cold. However, when I lived through my first winter it was cold but it wasn’t too terrible.

Fortunately, in winter most places have heating like restaurants, banks, supermarkets or the inside of buses and subway. Condos, apartments and houses have heating too. On the other hand, it’s very important to have the right wardrobe. If you have a warm jacket, gloves, tuque and some layers, those clothing can help you to face the winter.  

The lowest temperature which I have felt has been between -30°C and -37°C (apparent temperature). That temperature certainly was low and sometimes I had headaches, pain in my bones and muscles and dryness on my skin and lips. My advice in those cases is searching for a warm place, drinking a cup of hot chocolate and enjoying the landscapes and winter activities.

From my point of view each season has its charm. When I lived in Colombia and I lived in a hot city called Villavicencio, its temperature was approximately 30°C.

Living in a hot place has its pros and cons too. For example, you can enjoy activities in a pool or river and you can wear informal clothes. Nonetheless, when the weather was muggy, I needed a fan close to me and was drinking a cold beverage all the time. Also, sometimes I saw annoying bugs like roaches, mosquitos or ants.

In conclusion, enjoying the weather is relative and depends on each person. Actually, I like to live in a country with seasons because I have the pleasure to live in different climates at the same place only.

DARR.

Hobbies, knowledge, Personal Development, Wellness

Was Any Point In The Past Better?

dianangelika0607

28/07/2020

Every week I like to do my writing. Today I was thinking about the topic and I had a flashback about my childhood.

When I was a child, I never used a computer, a smart phone, Alexa or Playstation. In my time I played backyard games like Statues, Cops and robbers, Hide and seek, Tag and Hopscotch. And my gadgets were Spinning top, Yo-Yo, Cup and Ball and Marbles. I liked playing sports like basketball and soccer where people admired basketball players like Michael Jordan or Magic Johnson and 90’s soccer players like Maradona, Baggio, Zidane or Ronaldo.

At that time, I loved listening to music and enjoyed singing and dancing. The 80s and the 90s music was really incredible because it was the period of Pop, Rock and Latin Music like Salsa and Merengue. Artists like Michael Jackson, Madonna and groups like Guns and Roses, Nirvana or U2 were risen to stardom.

On the other hand, TV Series like Magnum P.I, MacGyver, Manimal or Mission Impossible were my favorites and ThunderCats, She-Ra and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were cartoons that I enjoyed very much.

All of those events and memories were very special and significant for me. Good times are always in our memory and they make us travel through time. Moments with friends, family and beloveds are unforgettable and are invaluable.

However, at present kids are growing up with technology and gadgets in their lives, no matter their age. According to an article which I read in the web, technology “allows for creativity and freedom of expression… aids in socialization and relationship building…allows for independence and empowerment… improves problem solving perseverance…helps instill and entrepreneurial spirit…enhances learning and technology jobs are (and will be) in high demand”.

From my point of view each period is different and children take advantage of their environment. I was surrounded by some stimulus that helped me to learn and to know about the world and when I remember all of those things that I did when I was child, I conclude first of all that time passes really fast and secondly it is very important to enjoy life. There is a phrase that says “Any time in the past was better”. That is possible but the most important is “Seize the day. Make your lives extraordinary”. (N.H. Kleinbaum, Dead Poets Society).

The way of learning and socializing can change, but some aspects remain. The important thing is that parents and teachers encourage children. No matter the time, the circumstances, the resources or the environment, I think being curious, being restless and doing research moves us through the knowledge and into success.

Finally I want to share a link about an article that I saw on the web, which shows Benefits of Technology  and The Right Kind of Screen Time for children: https://www.idtech.com/blog/benefits-of-technology-for-children

See you later!

DARR

Hobbies, information, knowledge, Mental- Health, Wellness

The Power Of Music

dianangelika0607

13/07/2020

Music is an important component in my life. I love how music can generate emotions and feelings with a melody or just with the lyric of a song.

Ever since I was a little girl my dad used to put headphones in my ears and I liked to sing with him and we recorded our music in cassettes. By the way, the next data is for those guys who are very young, before listening to music in CDS, MP3 or Ipads existed on the cassettes. When I wanted to listen to the song, in that period it didn’t exist Youtube, Spotify or Apple music, then I had to listen to the radio station and if it sounded like the song that I liked, I had to run very quickly and record it in a cassette. Nowadays all of this is history and if you just write the name of a song in Youtube or other apps you can hear it as many times as you want.

Another experience that I had when I was at school, I was part of the choir and we made some performances at other schools and events, that was a fabulous experience for me. At the same time, I had a subject of music and I had the opportunity to learn to play the flute and the marimba. My biggest frustration so far is didn’t learn to play other instruments like the piano, the cello and the guitar but, you know, it’s never too late to learn and to reach goals.

Anyway, music is present every day of my life. When I start my morning and I’m cooking my breakfast, the first thing that I do is turn on my TV and listen to music on YouTube. I feel motivated, with energy and a good vibe with music.

Finally, one of my hobbies is to listen to music for sure. One plan that I did and I loved was walking on the streets of Havana (Cuba) and to listen to the groups of Cuban Son, playing with their instruments like guitars, flutes, maracas, bongo drums and congas. Another plan that I did last year was to listen to the orchestra that played the soundtrack of the Tv Series Game of Thrones on live concert. That was amazing!

The last activity but not less important is to listen to Colombian music, we have different genres and artists, fortunately my country has an enormous variety and it inspires us day to day.

In summary, music is life, health and helps us by making our lives better and Happy like the name of the song by Pharrell Williams.

DARR.

Sin categoría

Of The Eagerness Only The Fatigue Remains

dianangelika0607

07/07/2020

At present the world is living a hard and challenging situation with the presence of the Covid 19. In fact, when I watch the news, I feel very sad and disappointed with the leaders of some countries like Brazil or the USA. Today I realized that Jair Bolsonaro, Brazil’s president was diagnosed with the virus, but in the first months of the year he didn’t believe in the complexity and gravity of the virus, he actually was skeptical and said that Covid 19 was a just little flu.

On the other hand, the statistics in the USA are discouraging due to the curve growing and the number of cases is higher compared with the last months. However, people continue going to gatherings, they go to the beach and bars and many of them don’t follow the rule of social distance. At the same time the USA’s President Donald Trump manifested “that 99% of coronavirus cases are totally harmless and ruled out a national mask wearing mandate”.     

As well, according to media leaders from Mexico and the UK also had a late reaction with this pandemic and Boris Johnson, UK’s Prime Minister was victim of this virus.

I’m aware our situation nowadays is really challenging and sometimes our leaders don’t take the best decisions to drive their countries but the responsibility doesn’t just depend on them. In fact, each person has to adopt the best practices and avoid taking risks and following indications.

It’s clear that countries and people need to come back to their lives again, they need to reactivate their economy. I see the countries in the rush to return to normality very quickly. Nonetheless, there is a popular Colombian phrase “Of the eagerness only the fatigue remains” if we run and make wrong decisions in the future our panorama won’t be the best.

DARR.